The Life of Trixie
by yumadeedoo
Summary: Just an average almost-year in the life of Trixie Lulamoon, an ex-bulimic and an ex-type 2 diabetes haver.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time there was a blue mare. She was a bulimic. She then recovered to good health a year later. Then she got type 2 diabetes. Then she ate healthily and exercised and got back to normal weight. Unfortunately, the doctor told her she only had a week to live.

She quickly made a new will and decided to live life dangerously. So she went sky diving. And saw a mockingjay. And watched The Last Airbender by M. Night Shamamamamalan. And went scuba diving in the Ponycific ocean. But, rather strangely, her tank ran out of oxygen. AND SO, SHE DIED.


	2. Chapter 2

No, she quickly realized it was just a dream and woke up. She woke up in the middle of the Applantic ocean with her oxygen tank on low. Then a shark appeared. Just as it was closing in on her, a stallion shot a harpoon and saved the mare. She heard Nemo and Dory scream. Frightened, she quickly swam away and reached land. She passed out for about an hour. Then she woke up.

She saw Pinkie Pie walking towards her and she got really scared. So she beat the shit out of Pinkie. Pinkie smiles and grabs a chainsaw, but can't use it because all the shit was beaten out of her. Pinkie cannot be killed, so the mare runs to this town called Ponyville.


	3. Chapter 3

She finds a wild pony. And wild pony does a hula dance. So the mare laughs and accidentally falls off a cliff and breaks her leg. As she is screaming a griffon grabs her and flies her to her nest, so she can eventually be regurgitated and fed to her baby griffons. But the mare cuts a hole in the griffon's stomach and jumps out the nest. From the nest, she runs jumping out of it, and heading into an unknown fate in the Everfree Forest.


	4. Chapter 4

She found a squirrel and she was about to eat it when the squirrel started talking to her. She fainted and the squirrel starts to scream. And then all of the squirrel's little squirrel friends came and carried her to their lair. But they were far away from food so the squirrels starts to feed on her carcass. Then she woke up and ran out of the lair, but the squirrels were still on her.

And all hope had seemed lost until a ractopus (a combination of a raccoon and an octopus) fought off all of the squirrels and took the mare to safety. Then Fluttershy appeared out of nowhere and fed the squirrels. But then the squirrels started to sing an apology to the mare (who's name was Trixie) for trying to eat her. Trixie accepted the apology and the ractopus told her that she owed him something for saving his life. Trixe had to go on a quest to take the ractopus back to his rightful home, the fire swamp.


	5. Chapter 5

Along the way she meets an Equestria Girl named Sally. Trixie explains to her what has happened so far. She decides to join her on her quest to take the ractopus back to the fire swamp. Trixie gets to know Sally more on the trip. And so they traveled, night and day, to the fire swamp in the valley of the volcano. Sally started to like Trixie. One day, they finally arrive but they meet a ferocious giant waffle, which tries to flatten them.


	6. Chapter 6

But then Sally grabs Trixie and they jump on top of the giant waffle and start to eat it. But the waffle had poison in it. The ractopus sucked all the poison from Trixie, but couldn't save Sally and everyone ended up dying except Trixie. So then Trixie mourned Sally's death and decided to take revenge on that waffle that killed her. She called Twilight and she came to eat the waffle she called fluffy. Then Trixie got abducted by a wild Raridash.


	7. Chapter 7

Then Trixie had tea and crumpets with the Raridash. And then Raridash did the macarena with Trixie. But the Raridash broke her leg. Trixie is selfish for her life and leaves the Raridash to die. But before she left, she looked at the calendar and saw that tomorrow, according to her doctor, her week was going to be over, and she was going to die, and that it was going to be Easter.

Trixie decided to live her last day in peace. She went back to the spot she left Sally. She laid beside her, grabbed her hand with her hoof, and fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Then a fairy, named Derpy, comes and right after Trixie dies, casts a spell on both Trixie and Sally that lets them come back to life and live forever. But the spell came with a price, and the price was that they had to live in space and couldn't leave.

So they floated around in space for a few weeks and eventually became flying potatoes with heads. They saw a giant waffle kingdom in space, but they chose to ignore it. And Sally began to get a potato eye on her. "We're going to have a little potato baby!" she said. Trixie fainted.


	9. Chapter 9

While in Equestria on Earth, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy have a dance party. An Equestria Girl named Clara crashes the party and brings robots and her husband Meta Knight. The robot army blows up the planet and Meta Knight flies Rarity and Rainbow Dash to a parallel universe.

Applejack suddenly teleports, and they all transport to the Kanto region. Suddenly, Team Rocket appears! They capture Meta Knight since they thought he was a pokemon, but nopony does anything.

Meanwhile at Fluttershy's house, which is currently floating through space, Fluttershy realizes that Rarity and Rainbow Dash left her alone at the dance party.


	10. Chapter 10

While in Equestria on Earth, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy have a dance party. An Equestria Girl named Clara crashes the party and brings robots and her husband Meta Knight. The robot army blows up the planet and Meta Knight flies Rarity and Rainbow Dash to a parallel universe.

Applejack suddenly teleports, and they all transport to the Kanto region. Suddenly, Team Rocket appears! They capture Meta Knight since they thought he was a pokemon, but nopony does anything.

Meanwhile at Fluttershy's house, which is currently floating through space, Fluttershy realizes that Rarity and Rainbow Dash left her alone at the dance party.


	11. Chapter 11

Fluttershy bumps into Trixie and Sally on her search for Rarity and Rainbow Dash, and asks them to watch her house for her. They agree, and Fluttershy teleports away. She quickly finds Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash and decides to take revenge on them for leaving her alone. (But not AJ, because she didn't do anything).

So Fluttershy takes them to her house. She knocks Rarity and Rainbow Dash unconscious and then takes them down to her evil lair. Fluttershy creates and evil brew to cook up Rarity and Rainbow Dash. But something goes wrong, and the brew creates Eduardo the Loch Ness Monster!


End file.
